Wells Fargo Stays Committed to Committing Fraud
The Street Satire Newsletter.12
Welcome back to the Street Satire Newsletter.
This week, news comes to light after 150 years of sham interviews held by Wells Fargo, and Hyundai is forced to recall its vehicles.
Enjoy this week’s letter.
Wells Fargo Stays Committed to Committing Fraud
I wish I loved anything or anyone as much as Wells Fargo loves committing fraud. That’s right, the bandits are back in the news, this time, by defrauding shareholders for holding fake interviews for candidates that they never intended to hire.
The 172-year-old bank, back in 1876, held fake interviews for the supposed vacancy of an extra horse to pull the stagecoach.
Why this news story took nearly 150 years to come to light is beyond me, but dozens of horses have banded together to recount the horrific, err, tails, of the interviews. Margy, the horse, stated that she was put through a rigorous 6-hour interview process, in which the CEO at the time William Fargo RODE on her.
Another candidate, Suzy, the horse, recalled that she was called back in for four separate interviews, all of which turned out to be a sham. They mandated that she come in on a Monday, which caused her to miss out on racing in the first ever Kentucky Derby.
All the horses that came forward were female, and the stagecoach continued to be pulled by all male horses for the next fifty years. It seemed that the HR (horse recruiter) person for Wells at the time just had a sick and twisted fantasy for female horses.
While some of these horses did end up getting hooked on drugs (ketamine), it wasn’t all doom and gloom, as several of these horses went on to represent a new beer start-up at the time, Budweiser, as their infamous Clydesdale.
Somehow Real News
Former President and current presidential candidate Donald Trump confesses that he doesn’t see color, stating he “didn’t know Harris was black” (read more)
Budget airlines come to realization that customers might enjoy a pleasant flying experience (read more)
Satire Snippets
Walt Disney cuts jobs and notifies Goofy and Oswald The Lucky Rabbit that they’re next on the chopping block for layoffs (read more)
Carvana stock rises as company announces it will soon be “putting other sh*t into vending machines” (read more)
Hyundai forced to recall nearly 50k vehicles after agency reported that the car company actually sold customers Hyundais (read more)
None of this news is real, besides of course the news that’s indicated as ‘somehow real news’. Nothing is meant to hurt or harm the companies or individuals mentioned. Again, I repeat, this is all satire.